Anthropomorphic snowman defeats Chretien by landslide
Criticism surrounding Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien has recently led to his landslide defeat in this year's federal elections. Although Chretien's Liberal party was suspected to win regardless of controversy, the Bloc Québécois swept through the elections, winning a full 100 seats. What came as even more of a suprise to the media was that the Bloc's campaign was spearheaded by an anthropomorphic snowman, Bonhomme. Previously known for his cheery presence at Carnaval de Quebec (Quebec Winter Carnival), Bonhomme has gained an excellent reputation with the Canadian public. Analysts conclude it was Bonhomme's friendly demeanour and sharp political strategy that won him the title of Prime Minister. Many parliamentary members have commented that the House of Commons already feels like a warmer place.

Saddam Hussein wins American lottery
As of Tuesday Iraq's leader, Saddam Hussein, was not only surrounded by conflict, but surrounded by thousands of dollars of lottery winnings. UN inspectors in Baghdad were unexpectedly joined by lottery spokesmen carrying oversized cheques, waiting to deliver Mr. Hussein's large cash winnings. Despite ongoing UN weapons investigation and a US trade embargo, Saddam managed to purchase a Money, Money, Money lottery ticket, and win the grand prize of twenty million dollars. When interviewed, Saddam was hysterical. "I can't believe it!" he said, "my mom is going to be so proud". Rumours say he's already spent some of his money on an SUV, a new palace and a 12-day Mediterranean cruise.

Cryptic IM conversation breaks record for longest dialogue with no actual words
The Guinness Book of World Records has formally declared John Herald and Matt Lochstrom new record holders in the upcoming 2004 edition of their popular records library. Mr Herald and Mr Lochstrom participated in an online conversation which consisted of the longest recorded dialogue with no actual words. This groundbreaking exchange began with "Yo s^" and continued for over forty-five minutes. "N/m doin' hw", came the reply. This trend, which began in the eighties with the advent of numbers in song titles, is only growing say researchers. "We can only wonder what horrific spellings will follow in the future", commented one scientist. Microsoft™, creators of the instant messaging client used to hold the conversation, have even created a new edition of the program which underlines correct spellings and suggests stupider alternatives.