Santa refuses to carry Xbox™
A press release was issued Monday by Santa Claus, of Santa Corp™, stating that the Microsoft™ Xbox™ gaming console would not be among gifts carried by his company this year. "It's quite simple", Mr. Claus explains, "the sheer bulk and combined mass of several thousand Xboxes becomes quite the burden- they increase shipping costs by well over 40%". Santa also added "Ho, ho, ho". Microsoft™ representatives have made many advances in consumer relations this year, studies say, but Claus Corp.'s decision proves to be a crushing blow for sales. Microsoft™ has cried foul, claiming that this decision could be influenced by Sony™, or Nintendo™, but Claus insists it has the right to choose what products are distributed or not. The Claus Corp currently has no statements regarding the slimmer Playstation 2™ and Gamecube™ consoles.

Name of German dish sounds like duck being run over
A couple ordering in a Toronto-area German restaurant giggled audibly after reading several recommended menu items. By far the favourite item of the couple was the "Schlachtplatte", a dish consisting of liver and blood sausage widely regarded as a delicacy. The husband, when sighting the item, chuckled and quipped, "Schlacht-platte? That sounds like a duck being run over or something". His wife, Deborah, commented "Yeah.. like the schlacht is when you first hit the duck and the platte is when the back wheel hits it again". The couple then guffawed loudly until hushed by other patrons. Although the couple thoroughly enjoyed this tidbit, the waiter did not share this same macabre sense of humour.

Overenthusiastic DJ playing "Safety Dance" a little too much
Several have complained to club owners about the over-frequent playing of Men Without Hat's "Safety Dance" during Friday night parties. Many suspect this was fueled by an incident where the song was greeted by laughter. Since then the humourous impact of the song has dropped severely, despite the DJ's unrelenting barrage of the loveable campy 80's tune. "He'll play that song three or four times a night" sources tell us, "-and as soon as you hear that butch-sounding 'we can dance if we want to, leave all your friends behind', you groan. It's just not funny anymore." Some say the DJ is merely indicating that "it's safe to dance", but others remain unsure.